my slight vent...

its kinda funny how i am over and done with you. yet, i feel some connection. although what we had is way in the past, you still have a hold on my mental. all emotional feelings for you have ceased, i can go forever in a day without thinking of you, talking to, etc. but, somehow, some way you find your way back into my existence. good thing you live miles away, and through AIM, or a random phone call is the only way you can reach me. you talk to me as old friends do, which stimulates my mind, and once again opens my heart to you. in previous conversations, i ask of your health and are you taking care of yourself, not because im trying to be bossy, but because i know how you act nonchalant about your status. i ask if you are involved with someone new, not because im being nosey, but beause i know how heartbreak seems to always find you and how hurt is alays nearby. it missed us, but happiness couldnt stay within us, so being apart was best. each time, you feed me the same line, and each time i believe. but, as i received your instant message today, you seemed distant, different, in another world. responses short, and none meaningful. then you drop the bomb shell. "Tee, im getting married." speechless, "wow" is all i could get out. but the rage is what fueled inside of me, instead. as open as i am, with you, i couldnt get the words out. a simple "im happy for you" was my response. yes, it was bland, but i truly am happy for you. im not hurt at the fact of your marriage, but hurt that your random outreach to me weeks before, had no signs of a girlfriend, fiance, homie lover friend, nothing. so, now i truly know words, are just that, WORDS. ah, feels good to let go and release.....